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Draymond Green, noted sociopath, is rebranding himself



No one is enjoying Kevin Durant’s elongated absence from the Golden State Warriors more than Draymond Green, the team’s enigmatic sociopath and power forward.

He’s used the extra maneuvering space on the court to rebirth his prime and inspire teammates, and he’s used the extra podium time off the court to pitch himself as a family man with a sense of humor. He leads the Warriors in touches over the last three games; he’s almost averaging a triple-double so far in the conference finals; and he’s showing some self-effacing humility.

This isn’t a miracle, folks, this is Draymond’s redemption tour: the most successful double-back since Ja Rule’s pre-Fyre Fest moguldom.

May 4 -- present -- Oakland, Portland and Houston: After picking up three technical fouls in his first seven postseason games, Draymond hasn’t gotten once since. He’s also managed to avoid kicking any groins.

May 10 -- Houston: Draymond helps finish off the Rockets with eight points, 10 rebounds and seven assists in the first Durant-less Warriors game of the postseason.

May 14 -- Oakland: Draymond finishes a plus-12 in the Warriors’ Game 1 win over Portland, adding 12 points, 10 rebounds and five assists.

May 16 -- Oakland: Draymond helps Golden State jump out to a 2-0 series lead, flirting with a triple-double again in a 16-point, 10-rebound, seven-assist performance.

May 18 -- Portland: Draymond’s masterful 20-point, 13-rebound, 12-assist triple-double gives the Warriors a 3-0 lead, all but clinching a fifth-straight NBA Finals appearance. Plus, he reinserts a dirty contact into his eye in the second quarter, which is neither here nor there.

May 18 -- Portland: Draymond picks up Jordan Bell after a mid-game missed dunk and credits a Warriors employee for the inspiration.

May 19 -- Portland: Draymond admits his season-long sob fest to the refs was “disgusting” and says he cleaned up his act because his little boy was taking notice. “My son was shooting and flopping. I said you gotta stop watching the NBA,” he told reporters.

Meanwhile, Durant’s back to fighting on Instagram again, which is like Jim Lahey in Trailer Park Boys going back to the liquor.

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